This is my job…

All Saints Pumpkin carved at this week’s youth group.

Tonight I got to officiate at our All Saints’ Day service of choral evensong. I was very anxious. I’ve never officiated at evensong and I’ve only attended evensong a few times in my life. But rather than going into all of the preparation, I will simply focus on tonight.

Tonight I was moved to tears by the beauty of our choir’s singing and by the sheer thought of what it is I am called to do. I feel so very small so much of the time and when I stop to consider the magnitude of what my hands are called to do I am in awe. My hands will be called upon to bless and sanctify, to hold and comfort, to bury and to wed, to baptize and to feed. My hands alone are far too small and weak to do any of those things. And that is what moves me to tears.

The realization of my total and complete dependence on God and the blessing that I feel knowing that God will support me in the midst of all of this and even in those things of which I cannot yet conceive gives me joy which passes all understanding. A joy that results in tears from emotions  so large my heart cannot contain them all.

I am in awe: this is my job.