being still in God's big world

stop. breathe. bask. repeat.

We have a church mouse who moves from
place to place. Today he is chilling out with
Madonna and child. 

This morning I met with The Rev. Louis Pitt at church to walk through the Eucharist for Sunday’s service. The sixty-fifth anniversary of Louis’ ordination to the priesthood is in October so he has a lot to share with a fresh-meat transitional deacon like myself. We walked through the entire service and split up various responsibilities. As we finished and recessed down the chancel steps Louis asked if I have time for a chat. We sat in the front pew of the church in the dimmed lights and shadows as he asked how it is going here. I told him I felt extraordinarily blessed to be called to this place where I certainly know God intends me to be. I discussed with him the specific challenges I face as I try to balance the work of being the director of the formation program while also being the assistant rector. He listened intently.

As Louis began to speak of his own experience as a curate 65 years ago I noticed as my muscles began to relax. I could feel tension that I wasn’t aware existed. I realized what a blessing it was to be sitting and talking with this priest and I allowed myself to be in that moment. In those moments that we sat together in the dim sanctuary I remembered something: I work inside a beautiful church building, but I spend so much time running around, cleaning classrooms, calling potential volunteers, and doing a myriad of other tasks that I don’t take the opportunity to just sit and be still with God.

I haven’t sat still with God in a long while. I have run with God, cleaned with God, preached with God, typed with God, unpacked with God, called with God, etc… but I haven’t sat still and basked in the light of Christ. I realize that it is not Lent. I don’t “need” to adopt a spiritual discipline for liturgical purposes at the current time. But I do want to bask in the light of God. I do want to slow down and truly accept the prayer from the New Zealand Prayer Book, “what is done is done, what is not done is not done. Let it be.” I want to breathe deeply and remember on an elemental level that I am not God and I don’t need to be. I want to remember why I am doing what I am doing.

Sometimes it is so easy to turn the “to-do list” into a “must-accomplish-immediately list.” When that happens our bodies respond with stress and without even realizing the implications we become tense and anxious. So, here’s to sitting still, basking in the light of Christ. I will get done what I can get done today and what I can’t… well… was it really so crucial, anyway?

1 Comment

  1. Jane Sherwin

    Audrey, well said. I’m so glad that you and Thomas are both blogging and will do my best to keep up with your posts. Best wishes, Jane

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