This past week I stayed on Peaks Island for the whole week. I rode the Ferry, breathed the salt air, swam, and generally relaxed. This is a good thing because CPE itself has been tremendously difficult. We had mid-unit evaluation, presented a paper about our personal experience with suffering, and then I presented a verbatim of a difficult interaction I had with a patient. I am feeling a bit beat down, but I also see the potential for growth that can be born of these experiences.
For my own survival as a minister I MUST learn how to chill out. I am far too keyed up and stress too easily. I make most things harder than they should be. Self care is an absolute priority. If I don’t figure this out now, my life as a clergy woman of the church will suffer. I talked to two of my closest friends in the past couple of days and those ladies are really floating me through. I see God in the day to day and the interactions I am having. God’s presence is definitely seen… and there are days I can feel God. That is truly a blessing for which I have been praying.
This weekend I will unpack. And go to the beach. And play with my nieces. And go hear some music. And run. And take a walk to the river. And relax. This weekend I will breathe. And it will be good.
Spirit of the living God, fall afresh on me.