I wish I had been a bit more ahead of the times on technology. This Lent has been an especially solemn journey for me. I have had my own wilderness to cross as Christ crossed His. I have really missed my mom, even more than usual these past couple of months. I wish I had had a digital camera when I was a teen so that I had some pictures of us together. I have very few from those last few years and that breaks my heart. There are just sometimes in a girl’s life when she wants her mom, and this has been one of those times. This Lenten journey has been lonely and long. Although I know that Christ is with me, I have not been able to feel Him in this walk. But I think that is what our path is like a lot of the time. I think that we live for those mountain top experiences that are so few and far between. But these amazing moments, glimpses into the divinity here on earth come through when we need them most; if we are open to seeing them.
Yesterday I was sitting on the patio in the sun reading for New Testament with some friends. All of a sudden it hit me: I looked up at a bird flying across the bright blue sky and I realized that it is my job to sit in the sun reading the Bible. For real: that is my job right now. What a blessing! For years I have longed for an excuse to tear away from my work and to have more time to sit with God… I don’t need an excuse anymore. A smile cracked across my face as I recognized this fact and I said it out loud to my friends sitting there. We are exceedingly blessed. But then the realization expanded: I have never needed an excuse to make time for God… I have just allowed societal expectations to tell me that I needed an excuse. I think this will be one of my missions as a minister – to help others see that they do not need an excuse to make time for Christ. Rather, they need only remain open to the calling of the Spirit and to make a priority God’s commandment to keep Sabbath.
I really wish that I could stay here and keep learning over the summer. I am on a path that many people are not able to take. I am called to a life that is overwhelming and lovely. I pray that for this conclusion of Holy Week and for my steps into Easter I may carry the knowledge that I am blessed with me. I pray that I may be truly grateful for the Grace God saw fit to send in Jesus. And I pray I may remember to use my life as a light in answer to God’s call to Love in this world.
Thank you for walking this journey with me. I carry all those in my life along for the ride inside of my heart. I could not do this without all of you.
Love and Peace,
PS The picture above is of a rainbow that appeared on my wall after hours writing my church history paper. It was just the hope I needed to finish strong:-)