cairns me home

being still in God's big world

A look into the future…

Leading up to the turn of the millennium (and for a few years after since the bit was so funny,) Conan O’Brien had a sketch he did on his show called “in the year 2000.” I love this sketch. The basic idea was that Conan would announce it was time to look into the future and then a special guest came on and they predicted funny things that would happen “in the year 2000.” (Here is a link to a clip of the skit with Conan and Meghan Mullally. Fair warning: there is one, somewhat crude joke toward the end… but it gives you a good idea of what I am talking about.) I had a dream the other night along the lines of this skit but for me the song was “in the year 2012…”

The realization that the new year is about to dawn finally hit me the other day. It is going to be the year 2012 on Sunday and what is so significant about that is all of the changes that I’ve been working toward for… well… for my entire lifetime that now stand on the horizon. The snow ball is on the way down the mountain and it feels like the choice is to ski in front of the snow rush or get trampled by the ball.

GOEs are next week. I’ve heard from some folks that they are worried that I am studying too much and too stressed over it. In reality I have only really reviewed for the Church History section. For all the rest I am preparing my resources and calming my spirit. Today’s GOE prep included a walk in the woods with my niece and pedicures with my aunt. Generally, it’s when I get quiet about something that worry is warranted; when I am “chatty cathie” it’s because I am coping outwardly. Am I stressed? Yes. Will it be over soon. YES! 🙂 My favorite blog about GOE prep is Janine’s. She describes the test and the stress we are all under. I think what is so crazy about the whole thing is that we all learn about the GOE and the stress it causes during our first year of seminary. We see the seniors around us running around all stressed out and we think it will be different in two years when it is our turn… we were wrong.

The week after GOEs I scheduled a week at home for respite, renewal, and packing in preparation for moving into an apartment at the end of the year. Fortunately (and unfortunately) I will not make it to Maine that week as I intended. Instead, I have been invited for interviews with three outstanding parishes. What an extraordinary opportunity. My skill sets have spiked interest in the market for assistants and I am so blessed to have the chance to start interviewing for jobs so early. But it also makes “the year 2012” so much more real. This is the year of graduation. (God willing and people consenting) This is the also year of deaconal ordination. Holy Spirit guiding, this is the year of my first call. This is the year of moving into my own apartment sans roommates for the first time since Arkansas. And, if I have my way, this is the year I get a dog.

Something that helped frame my break and my approach to the end of this final semester of seminary was the ordination of three of my close friends the week before Christmas. Seeing people who started your seminary journey with you getting ordained makes the joyous reality of our lives vivid. I felt so blessed to share that day with my friends and with the church. For now, ordination is one of the last things on my mind. My focus is on GOEs, job interviews, my thesis, and spending quality time with my peers. Soon enough seminary will be over the real world begins.

So for now I am taking life one day at a time. I walked on Kennebunk beach and at the Franciscan Monastery while listening to church history the other day.  Today was pedicures and chilly walking. Tomorrow is lunch and shopping date with my Grandma. Beyond that? I’m not really sure. I know I am flying back to VTS on Sunday morning, but otherwise I’m not really certain. I will be taking my days slowly and deliberately because life seems to be setting out at a run and I want to savor each moment as much as possible.  I am meditating on Psalm 46:10 so that when the snowball seems to be taking control, I can slow down and remind myself why I am doing this to begin with…

 Be

Be still

Be still and

Be still and know

Be still and know that

Be still and know that I am

Be still and know that I am God

Be still and know that I am

Be still and know that

Be still and know

Be still and

Be still

Be

Amen.

1 Comment

  1. Outstanding news on the three interviews. I know you are going to be an outstanding spiritual leader for a very lucky group of people somewhere. And you certainly sound centered and grounded about your exams.

    Take it easy, take it in balance and I’ll see you when you return to St. Anne’s!

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